Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37: 3 & 4, New King James version)
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. (II. Cor. 4:7, New King James version)
I never intended to pursue a secular job after graduating from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. However, looking back, my role as Supervisor of Psychologists has been the most fulfilling job I have ever had. It has profoundly shaped my character and thinking, ultimately helping me fulfill God’s calling.
Handmade Cross-stitched by Frances Chow
An Unfulfilled and Overlooked Vessel
As I have shared in previous articles, although God called me to serve Him and provided me with a free seminary education, I gradually realized that Chinese churches in the United States were not ready to accept a woman—especially a minister’s wife—on staff. While I never particularly sought a staff position, serving solely as a volunteer came with many limitations.
There is a well-known Chinese saying: “When a person does not have the proper status or title, their words carry no weight” (名不正, 言不順). This sentiment perfectly described my experience. During my first twenty years in church ministry, I was only assigned tasks that leaders deemed suitable for me—or ones that no one else wanted to do. I had little freedom to serve in the areas aligned with my training.
My passion has always been Christian education and family ministry. I longed to plan, organize, train, and teach in these areas. Unfortunately, few recognized how my seminary training could benefit the church. Instead, my responsibilities mainly involved interpretation, preparing church bulletins for seven years, cooking, and various other miscellaneous tasks.
Not long after my husband and I began serving at his third church, the church board members started recognizing my potential in Christian Education. The board member overseeing Christian Education, strongly believed in my abilities and recommended me to the congregation as a paid, part-time Christian Education Director. As expected, the congregation voted against my appointment. The reasons were as follows:
- Many members, particularly the older generation, did not see the importance of Christian Education.
- Some believed that hiring a pastor inherently included his wife’s service—essentially a “buy one, get one free” sentiment.
- Others felt that a pastor’s wife should serve the church voluntarily.
- Traditional views held that a woman should not be a pastoral staff.
- Ultimately, some feared that if both the pastor and his wife were employed by the church, they would hold “too much power,” which was seen as a dangerous precedent.
Despite these challenges, this journey has deepened my faith and resilience. While the road has not been easy, I trust that God’s plans are always greater than our own.
Breaking Through Barriers
How disheartening it was! At the close of the twentieth century, living in a part of the world that championed gender equality, North American Chinese Christians still clung to outdated traditions—reverting to an era of inequality, the same era my grandmother lived in. Even more troubling was their disregard for biblical principles in calling pastoral staff. The key questions should have been: Has God called this person? Does this person have the necessary training and gifts to serve in this particular church? Does this person lead an exemplary life? Yet, these considerations were overshadowed by human traditions and biases.
When faced with these injustices, I struggled with frustration and disappointment. But I knew I had to surrender my heart to God, learning humility, obedience, and trust in His sovereignty. He spoke to me through Scripture and devotional books, providing the encouragement I desperately needed. Leon, my greatest supporter, reassured me not to be discouraged. He firmly believed that our ministry was a partnership—one in which my contributions were irreplaceable.
In those years, Psalm 37:3 & 4 sustained me:
Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. (New King James version)
One devotional passage that has upheld me comes from Streams in the Desert:
“There is a group of believers… although they have suffered for many years and are locked out of work, they still share in the work of others through prayer and praise… Although they suffer and do not understand the reason for their suffering, they joyfully entrust their lives to God’s hands. Though their trials remain unexplained and their difficulties unresolved, they do not fall…” (May 14).
This journey was, and still is, a painful one. Yet, I never doubted God’s calling. I vowed to remain faithful to the end, regardless of circumstances. You all witnessed that during our eight years in this church, the congregation grew from the high 200s to over 500, largely due to the flourishing Christian Education ministry. You enjoyed attending Sunday School, Pioneer’s Club, and Youth Fellowship and made many friends there. Church members who truly knew me and recognized the injustice I faced respected and supported me. To this day, they remain my closest and most faithful friends. I still love the brothers and sisters of that church dearly, and we continue to stay connected.
God’s Unexpected Provision
As I shared in previous articles, financial necessity eventually led me back into the workforce. In a way I never could have anticipated, God provided through a federal grant that allowed me to earn a degree in School Psychology. After graduation, I spent twenty years working as a school psychologist and later as a supervisor/administrator across three states before retiring.
These jobs not only provided financial stability but also opened doors for ministry. I had opportunities to teach and train Christians in Sunday School teaching, family ministry, and understanding how the American public school system shapes our children. I also published numerous articles on these topics. Yet, more than any professional accomplishment, the greatest impact was how God used my profession to transform my character—a transformation I now want to share.
An Unfinished Vessel
Growing up with a brother with multiple disabilities in a traditional Chinese extended family, I was raised in an environment where a woman’s life was expected to be inferior, helpless, and controlled by others. This upbringing shaped me into a quiet, unhappy, and timid person—one who avoided conflict and lacked the confidence to assert myself. To survive and earn approval, I became submissive and conscientious. In difficult situations, I resorted to passive tactics: retreating, staying silent, and resigning myself to unfair circumstances and unreasonable demands.
While these coping mechanisms helped me endure the early years as a young and inexperienced minister’s wife, they were not what God intended for me. He saw me as an unfinished vessel, one that He would not abandon. He had a greater plan—to mold me into a bold woman of faith who would dare to challenge the status quo, engage in meaningful negotiation, and stand firmly for the truth.
Through my training in school psychology and my years in the workforce, God reshaped me. He taught me to speak up, advocate for justice, and navigate complex situations with wisdom and courage. This transformation was not only for my professional growth but for His greater purpose—preparing me to be the vessel He intended me to be.
A Transformed and Fitting Vessel
When I was training to become a bilingual school psychologist, I quickly realized that my mindset, approach, and personality had to evolve. Without change, I would struggle to be an effective professional within the U.S. public school system. Thankfully, my professors instilled in me the importance of cultivating an analytical and inquisitive mind. Through introspection and newfound insights, I began to understand how my past impacted me and I started embracing new ideas.
With this transformation, I learned to appreciate the differences between Chinese and American cultures. My perspective broadened, allowing me to develop greater flexibility in adopting ideas and practices from the American culture. I learned new ways to manage challenges, interact with others, conduct student evaluations, and provide culturally appropriate interventions to my students.
However, my true test came when I stepped into a leadership role as a school district supervisor. In this position, I could no longer remain silent, avoid conflict, or compromise on important issues. When problems arose, I had to confront them head-on—verbalizing concerns, holding individuals accountable, and taking necessary corrective action. These were completely against my natural disposition, and I dreaded them. Yet, if I wanted to succeed in my profession, I had to find the courage to speak up and assert myself.
The New York City Department of Education, the largest school district in the U.S., presented an intense work environment with heavy demands. Many staff members developed impatient and aggressive attitudes due to the overwhelming workload. Additionally, my subordinates were backed by strong union protections. Beyond managing my responsibilities, I had to build fair and respectful relationships while also navigating significant pressures and bureaucratic challenges.
Parents posed another challenge. To secure more services for their children, some hired lawyers and requested Impartial Hearings. At first, I was overwhelmed by the complexity of personnel management and legal disputes. Fear and anxiety gripped me. But over time, through God’s grace and mercy, I learned to handle difficult situations and challenging individuals with a clear mind, fluent English, and a firm yet composed attitude.
There were many moments of exhaustion—physically, mentally, and emotionally. At times, I wanted to walk away from it all. But deep down, I knew God was using this job to refine me. So, I persevered.
Despite the hardships, I found great fulfillment in helping students and parents. In advocating for students with disabilities, I felt as though I was, in some way, also helping my disabled brother Chu and my parents. My dedication and willingness to mentor and guide my subordinates eventually earned their respect, as well as commendation from my superiors. More importantly, the constant challenges helped me grow, shaping me into an independent and courageous person.
Raymond Au once wrote:
“Through work, we explore, discover, and get to know our inner world; we find our passion, our voice, and even begin the process of molding and re-creating ourselves. This is a project of inner work. Continuous self-growth and maturity make us more innovative and ready to respond to God’s calling and vocation. We begin to care about the world beyond ourselves and realize the potential given to us by our Creator.”
These words perfectly encapsulate my journey. Ironically, it was through my so-called “secular job” that God transformed me into a stronger, more capable vessel—one He could use for even greater purposes.
During my twenty years working in various school districts, I never stopped asking God how I could apply my experiences and personal transformation to His work. And, as always, He provided the answer. As I mentioned earlier, He graciously opened doors for me to serve Him as well as the American Chinese community. While I won’t repeat those details here, I do want to reflect on how this transformation reshaped my relationship with the churches that Leon shepherded.
Navigating Challenges in Christian Education
Historically, leaders in Chinese churches have often lacked a deep understanding of Christian Education principles and practices. Problems were frequently ignored or swept under the rug. But God does not allow such issues to persist indefinitely. He often uses conflicts—whether between students and teachers, youth group leaders, or parents—to awaken Christian Education leaders and youth pastors, forcing them to confront these challenges.
The lack of proper training and support has led to a shortage of qualified teachers and mentors—individuals who not only understand biblical truths but also know how to interpret and apply them effectively in students’ lives. Classroom management and safety concerns have been overlooked, sometimes resulting in dangerous situations. When these issues arise, I speak the truth in love, sharing solutions with leaders boldly yet graciously. I am always willing to train, mentor, counsel, teach, and provide the needed support.
However, if leaders fail to recognize the problem or remain resistant to change, I cannot assert authority as I would in a school district where I once held a supervisory role. In the church, my status remains unofficial, and my words do not carry the weight they should. In these moments, I have no choice but to place the matter in God’s hands, praying for peace and trusting that He will move His people in His own time. Ultimately, the pastors and lay leaders overseeing children, youth, and Christian Education must answer to both God and the congregation for their services.
A Heart for Service
While knowledge, assertiveness, and vocal advocacy alone may not solve every issue in my church, nothing can stop me from loving and serving others or sharing the gospel. For more than forty years, I have carried a deep love for my church despite its imperfections. At the same time, I am profoundly grateful that God has continually opened doors for me to serve beyond the walls of my local congregation.
In the early years of my ministry as a pastor’s wife, I often felt wronged—denied opportunities to serve in the very areas where I had been trained and called. I struggled to understand why God sometimes led me to what seemed like dead ends or why He redirected my path so unexpectedly.
It was only in the later years of my ministry that I finally grasped His purpose. God was using my so-called “secular job” not only as a means of provision but as a tool to refine, strengthen, and build me into the person He intended me to become.
Os Guinness once said:
“Calling is not only a matter of being and doing what we are, but also of becoming what we are not yet—what we are called by God to be.”
Indeed, God’s calling is not always straightforward, but His plan is always perfect. To Him alone be all the honor and glory!
Note 1: My translation from I work? Work makes me! The Two-Passage Between Work and I, P168
Note 2: Os Guinness, The Call: Finding and Fulfilling God’s Purpose for Your Life, Page 60.